I’ll admit it — envy is one of the hardest emotions I’ve ever had to face.

We rarely talk about it, let alone admit to it. But if we’re being honest, we’ve all felt it. That nagging pang when someone else is praised. The hollow ache when a peer gets the opportunity we’ve been wanting. The uneasy scroll through social media observing how everyone else’s life seems just a little bit shinier, that much rosier, and more satisfying somehow.

For a while, envy can feel like fuel. It pushes us harder, sharpens our edge, and drives us to prove ourselves. But, over time, that fuel turns toxic and starts to eat us up from the inside.

The sharpness of motivation corrodes into bitterness. Niceties wear thin. Instead of lifting us up and fueling our drive, envy begins to erode our internal peace.

I’ve wrestled with it myself. More than once.

Envy isn’t rare. It rears its familiar head everywhere. In our culture. In our workplaces. In our families. Even in our own hearts.

And if we want to lead well - and live well - we have to talk about it.

Envy doesn’t feel good - and it can do very real and lasting damage. Research shows it increases stress, anxiety, and even depression. At work, it erodes team trust, leaving people isolated when they need the connection the most.

But envy doesn’t have to fester. With awareness and mindful practice, we can begin to turn it into something that strengthens us instead of consuming us.

Here are a few ways these principles can play out:

✴️ Observe in the moment
Envy can hide in small reactions - a sinking feeling when a colleague is recognized, a sarcastic thought about someone else’s good news, tightness in the chest after scrolling online. By simply naming it—“This is envy” — you create space to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting.

✴️ Ask what it’s signaling (Viriya)
Envy often signals something we long for ourselves. Instead of letting it fester, use it as information. What value, dream, or need is it highlighting? What would it look like to take a step toward realizing that?

✴️ See with a Lens of Compassion (Karunā)
Every success hides unseen struggle. Behind every promotion, award, or highlight reel, there were most definitely failures, restarts and self-doubt. When you can see the whole human, compassion balances out the envy.

✴️ Reconnect with your own worth
Envy thrives on comparison. Take time to ground yourself in what you bring - your strengths, your contributions, your journey, your unique path. Journaling or reflecting on recent wins can help you rediscover your own value. Feelings of envy pull us into a place of lack, but an attitude of gratitude brings us back to what’s real and abundant in our own lives.

✴️ Choose connection over competition (Upekkhā)
When envy rises, and it inevitably will, ask: how can I connect instead of compare? A genuine congratulations, a curious question, or even reaching out for collaboration can shift the dynamic from rivalry to relationship building. From comparison to connection.

Another person’s win doesn’t mean less for you. It means more for all of us. Each success adds to the world’s abundance. That abundance is something we can all share.

Envy is a very natural emotion. It’s part of what makes us human. But it doesn’t have to consume us. When we aren’t afraid to speak its name, to listen to what it’s telling us, and to practice joy for others, we create a culture where we uplift ourselves and encourage others to thrive.

The question is not: How do I shine brighter than them?

The question is: How do I live my life so fully that our light can reflect off of one another and glow even brighter?

I recently joined Heather Shafter on her Chasing Peace & Justice podcast to share a cause close to my heart: Asha for Education.

My journey with Asha began while at Microsoft, when I was asked to reflect on why I give. That question led me to support - and eventually visit - grassroots schools serving underprivileged children in India.

What I’ve seen on the ground is truly humbling: children of migrant workers leaving fields or crowded city streets to step into classrooms for the first time, parents opening their first bank accounts because their children encouraged them to, and communities standing firm to ensure that educational principles endure.

For me, it’s always been about more than just financially supporting the cause. It’s about showing up, actively listening, and helping to create lasting change that will affect the lives of generations.

🎧 Listen to the full conversation with Heather here.

This has been a season of learning and growing by sharing stories with inspirational people. In my latest episode of the Mindful Momentum: Leadership Podcast, I sit down with educator, musician, and dynamic keynote speaker Jason Gordon (JGo) to explore the art of authentic connection in a world that all too often pulls us apart.

From a small act of kindness in a grocery line to the energy exchange between performer and audience, JGo shares stories that reveal how presence, curiosity, and compassion can help transform the way we lead, love, and even live with one another in community.

Together, we unpack why slowing down is the secret to deeper relationships, how technology is impacting human connection, the role of music, affirmations, and belonging in building trust, and why asking for help is one of the most courageous acts of leadership.

This conversation is equal parts heartfelt and practical. We’ll be reminded that connection isn’t just nice-to-have, it’s a survival skill in this fast-changing world. Listen in at your favorite podcast platform and subscribe so you don’t miss one of my upcoming episodes!